Monday, April 29, 2013

Through the Years

This past week I decided to sort through our old photos and scan them all in so that I can scrapbook them later.  I had so fun looking at us through the years and thought I would share a few priceless gems of who we once were and what we looked like! 

Because all of these photos were taken with film, they were all scanned in and none were edited or touched up, sorry for the lack of quality.

The first is Shane and I in our third grade class photos.

These next two pictures were taken three days apart in December of 2003.  I was a senior in high school, living in Salt Lake City, Utah and Shane had just returned from his mission in the Philippines, living in Othello, Washington.  We met and were married just a year and a half later!

Here is one of Shane with his football team and Brittnee with her soccer team.

And lastly our graduation photos!

Two Things #7

In order to get to know us better,  we are going to post two things you may not know about each of us every week.

-I never had to wear braces.
-The first time I went horseback riding I got a rough horse and was bucked off,  more than once.  It ruined riding for me.

-When I was younger,  3 and up, I absolutely loved to do puzzles.  Grandpa would bring me a new one each time he visited and we would sit on the stairs and finish it.
-I have two family nicknames. Everyone calls me Britters with the exception of one sister,  who calls me Brat and has for as long as I can remember.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Two Things #6

In order to get to know us better, we are going to post two things that you may not know about each of us every week.


-I am learning the art of furniture building.  After we replaced our backyard fences last year, I came into an abundance of lumber to practice on.  Since then, I’ve made two bookshelves for our home.

-I am working on my Bachelor’s Degree, studying Business.


-I want to write and publish a book someday.  I’ve always loved to write.

-I am training to run long distances in hopes of completing a marathon someday.

Friday, April 19, 2013


I’ve been thinking a lot and have wanted to write this post since yesterday.  Unfortunately, I’m also feeling very discouraged today so it might come across differently than intended.  Bear with me, and we’ll see where we end up.

I think that since the very first day we realized and accepted that we had a problem with infertility, we have believed that it is temporary, just a trial and challenge we could overcome.  We have always prayed to learn what we needed to learn so that we could “pass the test”.  Every month we continued to fail the test and had to start over.  We feared it was an issue of faith, or a curse from past misdeeds.  We poured ourselves into being the very best we could be to compensate for our shortcomings.  We begged, we even pleaded.  Because we have always hoped, each and every day, that we would be parents we never could see outside the box.  We could never envision the eternal perspective of our refiner’s fire.  We lived in jealousy, anger, frustration, hatred, and sadness for many months over the years.  Even now, peace and understanding are only slowly starting to enter our thoughts.  Maybe it’s because we are running out of time, maybe it’s because we are running out of options, but I think my perspective is changing. 

This “test” was never meant to be temporary.  It was never meant to be easy.  It is indeed my refiner’s fire.  In pondering and searching for understanding, I’m beginning to see that this trial is truly a “divine trial”.  We were given infertility because it was exactly what we needed to make it back to our Heavenly Father.  I also understand and am trying to accept that I may never be a mother here, but am still entitled to those divine qualities that are inherited.

Even if we place tomorrow, even if we become pregnant, we will ALWAYS be infertile.  That will never leave us.  Although the pain may subside and we will find joy in our lives, the reminder of the pain we have felt thus far will always be a part of us.  We will also be faced with infertility for each and every child we try to have.  Raising a family will never be easy or natural in our home.  This is an infinite and cyclic challenge and that is okay.  Heavenly Father knows what we need to be the best us.  He knows what we are feeling and he knows our desires.  But, bad things still happen in this world and we could still end up childless. 

I once felt bad about letting infertility define me.  I hated that it consumed me and it was all I ever talked about or could feel.  I felt blinded by emotion and yes, even coveted other women and their children.  Don’t judge, it’s impossible not to feel that strong pull to love.   Now I realize that infertility is a part of me, always will be!  It does define me. BUT, I can choose how it defines me.  I don’t have to talk about it.  I don’t have to allow the emotions to upset me, but I’m also entitled to feel those feelings and will need to talk about it too. 

I honestly think I’m ready for the next chapter, no matter what it brings.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Two Things #5

In order to get to know us better, we are going to post two things that you may not know about each of us every week.


-I love to cook.  I don’t often use recipes and just wing it as I go, but I often imagine what it would be like to open and operate a bakery.

-I have a very vivid imagination.  On long drives, I like to imagine that I’m a race car driver and it really helps me stay awake.


-I have a steel trap memory.  I love details.  I can tell you what I was wearing on my eighth birthday and list the addresses of previous homes I’ve lived in.

-I am a very forgiving person, sometimes to a fault.

Friday, April 12, 2013

On Adoption

We’ve been simultaneously trying to adopt and undergo fertility treatments for years.  One thing I don’t think people understand is that adoption is not a second choice or last resort for us.  The spirit of adoption entered our hearts five years ago.  It took two more for us to be ready and we have actively been trying to adopt for the last three years.  We look forward to having relationships that are exclusive to adoption.  We look forward to the beauty that is adoption.  We look forward to the love, peace, and hope that is adoption.  We are honestly honored to be able to adopt!  We know that we will be blessed with a baby.  We know that our time is coming and our family is out there.  For us, it has been necessary to do both things at once.  One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I need to feel control in some aspect of my family building.  Because I can’t control my body or the situation, nor can I control when we will be chosen, I can control what we are doing about the time in between.  Being actively involved in both adoption and treatments has afforded me the peace of mind knowing that I’ve done all I can do.  As we begin our fourth year, we want to make it strictly about adoption.  We are putting our complete faith in the process and know that everything will work out as it is meant to be.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Little One

*There is a commercial where the dad emails his daughter on all of the big events in her life for her to enjoy when she was older.  I’ve always loved this idea and want our children to have similar keepsakes and to know how much they are loved.  Here’s our first letter to our little one.


Dear Little One,

We haven’t met yet, but we love you so much already.  We look forward to the day where we get to bring you home and love you.  We don’t know when we will get to meet, but we know that there is a special birth family who loves you as much as we do.  We know that you are meant to be in our family and we can’t wait to see you grow and change each and every day.  We started setting up your nursery yesterday and we can already see you there.  We just want you to know that we pray for you every single day and know we will get to hold you in our arms, soon.  Until then, you are always in our hearts and prayers!


Mommy and Daddy

(I'm not going to lie we both cried writing this)

Monday, April 8, 2013

Two Things #4

In order to get to know us better, we are going to post two things that you may not know about each of us every week.


-I am an Eagle Scout.  For my project, I repainted the city’s fair barn gates.

-I had a solo part in a musical when I was 10 years old.


-I wore braces for a year and a half in 9th - 11th grade.  There is only one school photo documenting this time of my life.  I got my braces off days before my 11th grade picture.

-I hate driving stick shift, but know how to

Monday, April 1, 2013

Two Things #3

In order to get to know us better, we are going to post two things that you may not know about each of us every week.


-I played the drums in high school, can memorize every word to every song I listen to, and love to sing.

-When I was a toddler I used to walk into stores, throw my arms up in the air and say “I’m here!”


-I have never broken a bone or had stitches.  The only surgery I’ve ever had is for wisdom teeth removal.

-I was a major tomboy growing up.  I skateboarded, rode bikes off jumps, played basketball, and even climbed trees.